Blaah Blaah black sheep counting sheep 1,2, 3

 You want to live your whole life with eyes wide open. Sober. 

Not a moment wasted in a hungover state. 

You won't numb the biting pain. You won't submerge yourself in murky waters, just so you can muffle the painful voices. You'll hear it loud and clear. 

and you'll wince at every piercing cry. At every menacing howl. At every harsh knock. At every grueling sound that forces you to grind your teeth. 

This pain is what keeps you alive. It's what keeps you awake. Without it you won't know what it is to feel relieved.

You don't care for the euphoric highs. Or the depressing lows.

You crave stillness. In a way that's antithetical to the very idea of stillness. Agitated over your lack of peace. You're asleep and thrashing around in bed. This way and that. The nightmare holds sway over you. Even with your eyelids open. Your heart remains in deep slumber.

When do you wake up?